The Chronicles of Blakdo – Volume XCVIII

Well, Hello My Fellow Newsletterinarians!!!

Greetings One FINAL TIME from Bobjonesle Earth!

Giving in to popular demand, I have bring to you the third and final installment in the “Lord of the Tie” series. It is a bittersweet event. The life of Blakdo [pronounced "Blayk-doe"] has become quite a part of me. I share with him a deep connection. I am very interested to see how it all ends, but I just don’t want the story of Blakdo to end. I want to keep on knowing what will happen to him! It pains me so, to see him go through all these trials and hardships. Will he make it? Will he destroy the tie? Will he die under the burden? We’ll just have to see...


And just a little disclaimer: In this story, the forces of Bobjonesle Earth are portrayed as a dark army and tower and spider and stuff. But it really isn’t that way. I really do love this place and do not have qualms about it or anything. But I did need conflict for the story and similarities to Tolkien’s work, so… dark armies. And… I am not really dealing with demerit problems or failing grades, btw. But a lot of the other struggles are true.

Just a word of caution for enjoyment purposes: You may want to read the first and second lengthy installments, “The Fellowship of the Tie” and “The Two Towers.” [paste http://bjunewsletter.com/index.php?itemid=67 in the browser for “Fellowship of the Tie”][ or http://bjunewsletter.com/index.php?itemid=88 for “The Two Towers”]

If you have ever read the Lord of the Rings or seen the movies, you may enjoy it more than those who haven’t. However, I think anyone can enjoy them as fine literature at its finest. I am doing this Newsletter in the style and following the general story and situations of The Lord of the Rings. This is different than LOTR in one major way; it IS to be read as an allegory of my life here at BJU. It may not be a perfect allegory, but every situation has SOME sort of truth to it! So with that, I leave you to enjoy:



“The Return of the Spring”
One final semi-original “special” work by Blake Meyer

Here is where we left the Fellowship (minus Davidomeer): Blakdo donned his helmet and joined in the ranks to help the people fighting the d’Orcs at Deep’s Helm. It was a long drawn out battle between the evil and good of Bobjonesle Earth, and many were slain on both sides. But morning came in the midst of the battle as they were loosing, and they looked up to the sun rising above the valley walls. “Argh. It’s Monday. I hate Mondays,” said Blakdo. But then they saw Reimersdalf appear over that horizon and do some sweet tricks on his horse when all of the Riders of Dothan joined behind him, and they all ran down the slope and finished off the d’Orcs that were there. “Hmmm… Maybe this Monday will be different.”

After the battle was won, everyone was rejoicing and feasting and honoring Reimersdalf and the Riders of Dothan for their valiant rescue. Blakdo thanked all of the Riders in turn: Mr. and Mrs. Russellidaria, Karalida, Stephanillariniahrillianoverandem (the Riders of Dothan sometimes choose long names), the Shadow (but not the encroaching shadow of evil, mind you), etc.

Blakdo looked over at Reimersdalf once again… only… he looked different. Only a little different, but different, nonetheless. He went over and spoke, “Something about you looks different, Reimersdalf.”
The great wizard looked up at him, “Reimersdalf… Yes… That’s what they USED to call me. I am now come back from the lands beyond under a different person. You may now refer to me as WOODALF the White.”
“You keep doing that. In fact, you did that in the last story. Why don’t you just stick with one name? For example, I am “BLAKDO.” I was born with that name and I will die with that name. That way no one gets me confused with someone else.”
“Oh… You will never understand…”
With that, Woodalf the White stood up on a mound and announced, “This battle is won, but…”

Blakdo immediately began jumping up and down and shouting “Hooray! Hooray! It’s over!”
But Woodalf looked at him solemnly and said, “The battle’s not even half done. Actually, not even one-tenth of the way done. In fact, not even that. Remember, you still have that tie hanging around your neck.”
Blakdo replied, “Woodalf, you’re so depressing. I was happy, and you ruined it. I thought that I was done with this tie.”
“But the reality is that you still have a lot of work to do. It must still be destroyed where it was forged in the land of Barge-dor under the ever watchful eye of Adminad-dur. There is also a lot of planning still to go. For example, what are you going to do after you destroy the tie? Where will you go? How will you survive?”
Blakdo let out a big sigh as he contemplated the truth of what Woodalf has said. He was not entirely sure. They walked on. And on… and on…

At some point or other, another person popped out of the bushes and bound up Blakdo and the Fellowship (minus Davidomeer). “You know, this happens an awful lot around here.” Said Blakdo. “Who are you anyhow?”
The stranger replied, “My name is Bradamir, son of Garythor, the Steward of Georgiandor and Arlenador, Stewardess of Georgiandor.”
“Wait a second, those are my parents! It’s been awhile since I’ve seen them! That makes us… BROTHERS!!!”
So they walked and talked. Along the way, Bradamir explained that his parents are actually resident to the Winslowshire, but that is why they are only Stewards of this distant land. They did not actually live there. Just supported it and upheld it.
Bradamir was having a wonderful time. He enjoyed the antics of all the residents of Bobjonesle Earth. At first, Blakdo was a little afraid of what he would think of the craziness of MerEDDYdock Alexanderbock and Timppin, the wise dry jokes of Jaeggli, the quiet thoughtfulness of Nikkolas, the deadness of Davidomeer, the radiant beauty of Erikdriel, the off the wall craziness and talking of Richagorn… but Bradamir didn’t seem to notice. In fact, he seemed to fit right in. As they were walking, though, Blakdo eyed a long red piece of material hanging from the neck of Bradamir. Of course, Blakdo was terrified, given the restrictiveness of his own tie.
Eventually they came to a certain point, a line in the land where things were just… different. At this point, Bradamir turned to Blakdo and said, “It has been wonderful here at Bobjonesle Earth. Now I must return to my family at the Winslowshire. However, I will come again. But not yet. Not yet.”
With that he walked off into the distance. After he was good and gone, Blakdo looked down and saw THE VERY TIE BRADAMIR WAS WEARING! So Blakdo picked it up and bore the burden that Bradamir only had to temporarily endure.

As they were walking (they seemed to be doing that a lot), it began to rain. Blakdo and his friends pulled out some pieces of material stretched over metal rods to keep themselves from getting wet. Some stranger along the path (not a d’Orc, just some elf-dude) thought it looked really cool, so he recorded the picture onto his own journal, “The Greenvindell News,” and circulated it all throughout the elven region. It was encouraging to all of them that Blakdo was alive, well, and dry.

Richagorn, once again was leading and talking, leading and talking… he eventually led them all to a place in a boundary of trees that separated the forest from Bobjonesle Earth. “Here is my home. Would you all like to come with me and see it?” They all did, but as they began to cross the boundary line, the thought struck all the men at the same time: “We can’t cross out of Bobjonesle Earth with Erikdriel and Nikkolas with us. We need someone else who is older and wiser and female to chaperone us.” Richagorn replied, “But my wife just graduated from this world a few years ago.” But the spirit of Davidomeer whispered in their ears that this was not right and that she was not approved by the Adminad-dur. So… they all voted that Blakdo should at least go, while they all waited within the boundary. Blakdo, Richagorn, and Laurililian had a wonderful time feasting. Then afterward, they relaxed by playing a game with numbers, in which Laurililian and Blakdo first ganged up on Richagorn, but in the end a defeated Richagorn helped Blakdo out in defeating Laurililian in an epic 3-way duel. Eventually, the relaxation ended, and he had to return once again to Bobjonesle Earth, where the tie became much more constricting once again. But it was just about to get worse…



What Woodalf had said earlier to Blakdo really stuck in his mind, “What are you going to do after you destroy the tie? Where will you go? How will you survive?” The thoughts and possibilities all ran through his mind, but it was just hard for Blakdo to put them all together and decide.
They eventually reached the wonderful land of Georgiandor, and the spectacular walled white city, Daculas-Tirith. This is where Woodalf usually resided. They were guests at the palace of the Bakerdin family. It was a wonderful time for Blakdo away from the rigors of his journey through Bobjonesle Earth. While he was there Woodalf showed him the city and he talked to much of the merchants and vendors and put the thought in the back of his mind that if he was ever going to come out of Barge-dor alive and make a return journey after destroying the tie, this would be the place to go. He met the people there who wanted him to come and be a type of leader and helper of the younger adults.. At the prospect of this, he became very excited! What an opportunity! But he was notified of a problem that had arisen. He was summoned to the palace where Woodalf explained the dire situation:

“Years ago this entire earth was begun. The leader of Bobjonesle Earth, at his tower in Adminad-dur forged 9 ties. Two of them he gave to the race of elves. 3 of them he gave to the race of Dwarves. 4 of them he gave to the race of Men…”
“… and one of them he gave to the race of Hobblits!” chimed in Blakdo.
“NO, that does not make sense. That would equal 10 ties.”
“I never was that great in Trigonometry.” Said Blakdo
“Nevermind,” Woodalf continued. “Anyhow, these ties had a power about them, controlled by the one ruler of Bobjonesle Earth. As long as he was in power, the ties were required to be worn by all those under his rule while they were at Bobjonesle Earth. But especially these 9 ties…”
Blakdo asked, “But how did I get this one?”
“Good question young Hobblit. The ties forged by the great ruler had a paisley design. It was fashionable at the time, but it quickly came out of style and they were discarded… INCLUDING the ONE RULING TIE… The one you now wear. This one was not destroyed. It was placed in a Goodwill store where Bobbo Jonesins, purchased it on a whim. Then when he left, it was left to your possession to destroy. It must be destroyed if the dark forces are ever to be squelched and life will return to normal. YOU MUST MAKE IT through the realms of Bobjonesle Earth and destroy it. You have COME SO FAR already. Do not give up now. Complete your journey now.”
“WOW!!! This is the ONE tie? That’s pretty amazing. And hey, I like paisley, by the way.”
“To each his own… But that is not the end of the story.” Continued Woodalf, “There have been forces gathering for years in the land of Barge-dor. They are now complete. An army innumerable. An army of Evil Bad Gradelins and d’Orcs and Projectians and Demeritrolls that are now being unleashed to take your tie by force and completely hinder you from completing your journey to the end. That army is almost upon us. Tomorrow they will begin by attacking this city, where they think you dwell. You must flee NOW. You must flee ALONE to Barge-dor and complete the last stage of the journey to destroy the tie. The negative threatening forces are upon us. ”

Blakdo had to express himself, “I don’t know if I can take this anymore. It is too overwhelming. I have no time. I have never been so overloaded with responsibilities and tests. I am already behind in my plans. I have journals to write. I want to see my family. I’m not getting any sleep. I want to spend more time with Erikdriel, who I love. I just want to get on a large ship and sail to the grey havens. Will I ever be able to return to Daculas-tirith or the Winslowshire alive?”
“There is no telling. You must do your best.” Advised Woodalf.
“I wish this had not come to all of this.” Said Blakdo
“So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”



With that, Blakdo returned out of the gates of the city to face the last stage through Bobjonesle Earth alone. Before he left, however, Erikdriel met him at the gate. "Be careful," she said, "No one has ever gone to Bargedor and came out alive." Then she gave him a nice, long... handshake. He forced himself to turn around, and when he did, he could see the darkness far ahead of him over the coal black forms of the mountains and wrought iron completely around Adminad-dur. From underneath the darkness from miles away he could see the dark armies of Gradelins and d’Orcs and Projectians and Demeritrolls spilling out like ants in formation heading right toward him. However, instead of running away, he headed right toward them.

Blakdo had a very difficult time avoiding the ever-spreading, ever-searching Bad Gradelins and Demeritrolls. It amazed Blakdo that all of them were out searching for HIM. He eventually reached a long staircase up to the top of the Alumzad-dor mountains. It took him a day or two (for he could not tell whether it was day or night anymore. It was always dark), but he eventually reached the top. He was now in the land of Bargedor, under the all-seeing eye of Adminad-dur. He had to be extra-careful now. His excitement was grounded, though, when he saw a gigantic tunnel opening right before him. There was no way around it. He had to go inside to reach the inner mountain in which the tie was forged. He began stumbling in through it (for that was all he could do anymore. His strength was quickly depleting) and quickly found himself tangled up in sticky webs all around. Then, he couldn’t move! Then the panic set in. It got even worse when a gigantic spider began creeping toward him out of the darkness. Then it began to speak, “Hi, my name is Shortlob, the big spider, and I, uh, have a bunch of papers and projects for you to do for me if you are ever going to reach the end of your journey. But remember, you don’t have much time, so do them as fast as you possibly can…. Here’s a computer to help you out. Oh, and one more thing. Here is a really big book for you to read once through ever year from this point on.”

***

“The men we have available to fight the dark armies are insufficient!” declared Richagorn to Woodalf, the Bakerdins, Erikdriel, and Nikkolas. (MerEDDYdock Alexanderbock and Timppin were out playing basketball with Jaeggli)
“We are aware of the situation. We have every man that we could find on our side” Counseled Woodalf, “And there is one solution… one army that can help us defeat the dark armies of Adminad-dur.”
“OH NO! YOU go get them!”
“There is none that wields the power, except for you, Richagorn!” With that, Woodalf revealed a really shiny sword that would help Richagorn out somehow.
“OK, I’ll do it.” Replied Richagorn, “As long as I get that sweet sword and get to take some friends. Brrr. Is it cold?”
“Yes.” Replied Woodalf, “It is a result of the darkness in the land, along with all the deadness. Go swiftly. Wield the sword. The dark armies are upon us. We will need your help.” With that, Richagorn, Jaeggli, and Nikkolas ran to get the needed and dreaded army.

***

Blakdo began to work on the projects in Shortlob’s lair so he could get on with his journey. However, after working on them for some time, his computer crashed. Another ploy of torture for Shortlob, no doubt. But eventually, he did get them done. They were very difficult and time consuming. Things that Shortlob just loved to do to withhold his prisoners. But Blakdo had to say that he was a better Hobblit because of it. After he finished the last of the projects and tests and readings, the webs were loosed from around him, and he ran straight ahead through the darkness. He could sense the spider following after him, but he escaped just in time before he could do more. He was now on the other side of the tunnel, now deep within the heart of Bargedor.

***

Richagorn, Jaeggli, and Nikkolas approached the opening of a cave deep in the mountains. Out of it came lots of shrieking noises and strange smells. “I’m not going in there, commented Jaeggli.
“Well, technically, you don’t have to. You are faculty. But you need to anyhow.” Then they all bravely ran on. They found themselves in the middle of a vast room by themselves. It was just creepy. Then out of nowhere, a great army of kids in armor appeared, floating all around them, taunting them and making lots of noise. Of course, they were not all bad, but as a group… nevermind. There were thousands of them, more than one could count. Innumerable to the mind of men.
“Who are you?” asked Nikkolas.
The leader of their group, a very tall man, stepped forward, “We are the Acclaimed Army of Captive Servants, also known as AACS. How may we invade your land?” Richagorn pulled out his sword and offered a deal. “If you fight for us, this will set your captive servants free.”
The leader replied, “I like that idea. When do we start? Oh, and… nice sword.”

***

Blakdo found himself at the slope of the great mountain at the base of Adminad-dur, the place where the tie was forged! Looking up, he saw the fire spewing out of the top. He had to constantly be dodging the clearing dark armies of Gradelins and Demeritrolls and d’Orcs and the ever watchful Eye. His strength was almost completely gone, and his life quickly expiring. He looked back on the four years this journey had taken him, and saw all the trials that have come. But somehow he had survived them. It seemed horrible to give up now when he was so close… but the end was right in front of him! The tie was more of a burden than ever, and drug him down to the ground. It looked so good to him to just lay there with the tie constricting him. He had gone so long with no sleep, inadequate food, and water… But still, he slowly stumbled up the slope, barely clutching onto his feeble life. Up… and up… he climbed. He saw the entrance: a large, looming, arched open door with the fires of the mountain, where he must destroy the tie, right behind. He stood, trembling, looking into that great doorway… only a few feet from his destination… and he fell as if lifeless to the earth in exhaustion.

***

When Richagorn, Jaeggli, and Nikkolas arrived at Daculas-tirith, there was a massive battle taking place at the gates of Daculas-tirith. The armies had already conquered 3 levels of the city and were almost to the fourth. Outside the gates, the earth was covered in one black blanket of dark creatures as far as the eyes could see. Richagorn started walking boldly toward them with his sword. Some looked his way and started laughing. How could this man think of defeating even three of them? But then from behind him came the AACS, millions of them pouring out from behind the hills and sweeping over and killing off the negative influence of the dark armies, COVERING the landscape of Bobjonesle Earth. Things were starting to look up for mankind.

***



Blakdo just laid there with his face in the dirt on that rocky crag. “I… just… can’t go on… any longer…” was all that he could muster to think. It sounded so good, so he just laid on the ground, with the melting heat bursting forth out of the opening just feet in front of him. As he lay there, visions started clouding his mind: visions of the Winslowshire, and running carefree in the sun. Visions of running along streams of water. Oh, it has been so long since he had heard running water! Visions of a whole week of hearing important leaders speak, that seemed to only be as a day in his mind. As his life was coming to an end, he began to think back on the many many lessons he had learned since 4 years ago when he started his journey from his comfortable home in Winslowshire. Visions of playing in the tree groves of the Winslowshire. He had visions of all the friends he had made. Visions of self-improvement and growth. Visions of sitting in the grass, having picnics in the sun with Erikdriel. ERIKDRIEL! He had never seen one so beautiful and wonderful as her. He thought back to the wonderful times they had shared together and the ways she had brought him through many trials. He thought of how much he wanted to see her face again… with her smile and dimples. He wanted her and everyone else to have a wonderful life too, free from the choking constraints of the tie and the dark negative influences of the threatening dark army. He had to destroy it. He could hear Erikdriel cheering him on.

With that as motivation, he gathered all the strength he had within him. He rose up and started stumbling toward the opening in the mountain. A Bad Gradelin saw Blakdo’s movement out of the corner of his eye and started chasing him down. But Blakdo reached the ledge over the molten pit from which the tie was forged deep within Adminad-dur, and with his last ounce of strength, threw it in!

***

The powers of darkness were dwindling, with the AACS killing off most of them, sparing the good people, and they themselves inhabiting almost every place possible to be in Bobjonesle Earth. But there were still many of the dark army’s forces still reigning strong, putting up a fight. But then, the earth began to shake and rumble. Suddenly a giant crack in the earth came from the land of Bargedor and weaved its way across the battlefield and swallowed up the last of the dark Gradelins and d’Orcs and Projectians and Demeritrolls!

Everyone began rejoicing in their victory, and the members of the Fellowship (minus Davidomeer) had fought together and were giving each other victory hugs. But then, they heard a huge explosion in the direction of Bargedor. They looked on in horror as they saw the last of the Adminad-dur mountain, the very one Blakdo was on, erupt as fire filled the sky. “Blakdo…” whispered Erikdriel. “He truly was a noble soul.” Continued Woodalf.

THE END

***

What? Didn’t like that ending? Oh… nevermind. Here is the REAL rest of the story: Later, Blakdo woke up in the biggest, most comfortable bed he had ever been in. Light was streaming in the windows. He could hear the sound of rushing water and birds chirping. IT WAS THE RETURN OF THE SPRING!!! He looked over and saw an angel radiantly beaming in the sunlight. He asked, “Am I in heaven?”
The angel spoke, “Don’t you recognize me? I am Erikdriel…” [and you (especially Erika’s sisters) are entitled to think this is sappy] Anyhow… “I am Erikdriel, and you are not in heaven, but close. You are in Greenvindell, and you have passed all the tests set before you! You have made it through all the realms of Bobjonesle Earth! What a Hobblit!!! I am a lucky elf to have someone like you.” :)
Blakdo could not contain himself in his happiness. But he had to ask, “Uh… how did I get here? I thought I was dead.”
Erikdriel replied, “You were, but you were only MOSTLY DEAD. So we brought you to a miracle man, and he gave you a pill, and… well, that’s another story altogether.”

Days later, Richagorn was being crowned king of Georgiandor. Then he approached Blakdo, the Hobblit, who began to bow to his new king. Richagorn said, “No. You have saved us all. We have you to thank for freeing us this spring. AND in appreciation for your South Carolina Press Association First Place award for humorous illustration or cartoon, stand where EVERYONE can see you!” And immediately all eyes were on him as they bowed. To be honest, it made Blakdo kinda self-conscious and weird.

So after that, there was a ceremony in which his bestest of friends all watched him as he prepared to move on. They followed him to a dock, where a very large ship that played a song about wishing on stars prepared to take him away into the unknown beyond. All of his friends cried as he sadly said goodbye to all of them. To each, he offered these words of comfort, “It is alright. I may one day return to Bobjonesle Earth. But for now, I am needed in the distant land that I know very little of. I just know that it will be a good place. I do not know when I shall return, but hopefully quickly.” With that, he slowly walked away, turned and gave one last smile to them, and walked onto the ship away from Bobjonesle Earth… tieless.

THE END (for real)



EPILOGUE- And years later, he returned, went through some more realms of Bobjonesle Earth, got marr… uh, completed, and moved on happily ever after. These things are written in his LONG journal, entitled “There and Back Again,” (also known as the BJU Newsletter) chronicling his life through thick and thin of Bobjonesle Earth. But… it really was “Happily Ever After.”

So how was that? (besides “LONG”) But it was SO much fun. I had a wonderful time writing these three stories, and it is nice to see that Blakdo turned out alright in the end and that he actually did make it.

Here are the Picture explanations:
1) Blakdo catching a spinning falling ring.
2) Blakdo racing Woodalf’s horse to Daculas-tirith and winning.
3) Blakdo pondering his path with the help of his friends, Richagorn and… an elf.
4) Fond memories of the Shire
5) Blakdo receiving recognition for his achievements

Well, I hope that your journey was enjoyable! It was long in the works. I will really miss writing these Newsletters! I love writing them (obviously)

-B.J.R. Tolkmeyer